Philosophical traditions (as seen by their enemies)

Neven Sesardic
(Lingnan University, Hong Kong: sesardic@ln.edu.hk)

 

French philosophy

 

Long gone is golden Cartesian age,

when reason in France was all the rage.

          Now it’s all just a pose

          plus a large bullshit dose.

Mon Dieu, when will these clowns leave the stage?

 

 

German philosophy

 

German philosophy, rise and shine!

We are all dying to know das Sein.

          It’s boring but it’s deep,

          and it helps you fall asleep.

Do we want to read more? Danke, nein!

 

 

Chinese philosophy

 

What’s about philosophy Chinese

that puts some of us so ill at ease?

          Why does it leave us cold?

          Are we perhaps too old?

Or is it just our bad Cantonese?

 

 

Analytic philosophy

 

Analytic philosophers say:

“Obscurity, boo! Clarity, hurray!”

          Their clear writing is fine,

          yet they look asinine

with their shallowness on full display.