A quiz for philosophers

Neven Sesardic
(Lingnan University, Hong Kong: sesardic@ln.edu.hk)

Q: What's the difference between Russell and Moore?

A: Russell relied on arguments, whereas Moore resorted to hand waving.

Q: What's the difference between Derrida and his critics?

A: Derrida says there is nothing outside the text. His critics say there is nothing inside his texts either.

Q: What's the difference between Nietzsche and Abelard?

A: Nietzsche was nuts, whereas Abelard was… no nuts.

Q: What's the difference between Socrates and Gettier?

A: Socrates knew that he didn't know anything, whereas Gettier couldn't tell. Ah, and one more thing: Gettier has one more publication than Socrates.

Q: What's the difference of opinion that generated a conflict between Nelson Goodman and other philosophers?

A: Philosophers tend to support green energy policies, but Goodman was more in favor of grue energy.

Q: What’s the difference of opinion among philosophers about what they should change?

A: Marx said: Change the world! Kuhn said: Change the paradigm! I say: Change the subject!

Q: What's the difference between Plotinus and Obama?

A: There is no difference. Both believe that everything emanates from the One.

Q: What's the difference between Heidegger and Carnap?

A: Heidegger believed that his writings contain thoughts about Nothing, whereas Carnap believed that they contain thoughts about nothing.

Q: What's the difference between Occam and other scholastics?

A: Occam cut the crap (with a razor).

Q: What's the difference between David Lewis and Buridan?

A: It’s ontological commitment to different entities: talking donkeys in the first case, starving donkeys in the second.

Q: What's the difference between Socrates' conception of the good life and our view today?

A: Socrates thought that only the examined life is worth living. But we now know that a life is worth living only if it includes the whole person education and the achievement of all learning outcomes.

Q: What's the difference between the Lingnan philosophy department and any other department?

A: Lingnan is the only department in the world in which a student was actually waterboarded after a philosophy class. (Interestingly, the class was about applied ethics.)

Q: What's the difference between Heidegger, Sartre and Foucault?

A: It's just narcissism of small differences. All of them extolled the value of freedom (in theory), but in practice they all fell in love with various forms of totalitarianism. Heidegger supported Hitler, Sartre supported Stalin, and Foucault supported Khomeini.

Q: What's the difference between a feminist and non-feminist philosopher?

***Stop right there, Neven, and apologize for raising this inappropriate, divisive and offensive question! Report at once to the "Climate Committee", which will arrange sensitivity training for you!***