In Marx's footsteps

Neven Sesardic
(Lingnan University, Hong Kong: sesardic@ln.edu.hk)

Marx was born in Germany,

in a little town of Trier,

where people are best known

for drinking a lot of beer.

His childhood was uneventful,

as he didn't go much out.

He spent most time in reading

and eating Sauerkraut.

Later he moved to London,

where he wrote Das Kapital,

a book that you can enjoy

about as much as a root canal.

Despite publishing like crazy

he remained forever poor,

but luckily his friend was

a rich entrepreneur.

Although Marx believed

that capitalists were truly bad,

he gladly took the money

from Engels or his dad.

While we’re all obsessed with

love, job or even air pollution,

Marx had only one concern:

the world revolution!

Nervously he would jump and say:

"Damn, we could start tonight,

if only people listened

and if workers would unite."

But workers were not class-conscious,

they still thought bourgeois,

so there was a slight delay

with the planned coup d'etat.

Soon after Marx's death

a Messiah at last appeared;

it was a ruthless Russian leader,

a bald man with a beard.

He said that if the workers

didn't accept him as their guide

he'd make them change their minds

with force from outside.

And indeed in October

of 1917

Lenin and "people's commissars"

arrived upon the scene.

They spoke about freedom,

justice and world peace,

but instead they introduced

the reign of secret police.

Anyone expressing doubts

about the coming five-year plan

was sent to GULAG camps

where the shit really hit the fan.

The accused in show trials

were tortured and all confessed.

Their death penalties were praised

by "useful idiots" in the West.

A heaven on earth was promised

under the flag, shining red.

What was the result of all this?

Well, twenty million dead.

Did everyone then abandon

the communist idea?

No, it was tried again in China,

Cuba and North Korea.

Were these new attempts successful?

What was the final score?

A lot of people perished,

probably seventy million more.

Yet all these horrors haven't stopped

the radical left's campaign

from selling us Marxist snake oil

again and again and again.