Why do students fall asleep in philosophy courses?
Logic |
Because who wouldn’t be bored to death by discussing pure tautologies for months! |
Philosophy of Action |
Because in the same way that an intentional effort to fall asleep produces insomnia, an intention not to fall asleep produces… somnia. |
Chinese Philosophy |
Because it is better to be asleep in class dreaming to be a butterfly than to be a butterfly dreaming to be a philosophy student. |
Metaphysics |
Because dozing off is the best way to explore different possible worlds. |
Doing Philosophy |
Because the most enjoyable way of doing philosophy is to activate your private experience machine. |
Theories of Justice |
Because it is very difficult to keep your eyes open when you are behind the veil of ignorance. |
Ethics |
Because sleeping in class produces the greatest happiness for the greatest number. |
Epistemology |
Because if you are told you are a brain in a vat, there isn’t much else you can do, is it? |
Aesthetics |
Because beauty is in the shut-eye of the beholder. |
Political Philosophy |
Well, we suspect that this is all the work of a sleeper cell. (But don’t worry, we will catch them soon!) |
Ancient Philosophy |
Because it’s all Greek to us! |
Continental Philosophy |
Dormio quia absurdum. |
Post-Modern Philosophy |
Because the dialectical transgression of the post-Lacanian narrativity contextualizes the mythopoetical paradigm of subsemiotic discourse, de-conceptualized or rather quasi-articulated by Deleuzzzzz... |
Probability and Scientific Method |
Because although it leads to a lower expected grade, the overall expected value of sleeping in class is higher than that of staying awake. |
Philosophical Perspectives on Human Rights |
Because every student has a basic right not to be exposed to sleep deprivation. |
Philosophy of Mind |
The most probable reason is a defective Turing machine. |
Philosophy of Science |
Because it is impossible to follow the lecture: there are just too many ad hoc hypotheses. |
Philosophy of Language |
Because the audience could not grasp the speaker’s meaning. |
Bioethics |
Because a life without a nap is not worth living. |
Cinema and Philosophy |
Because it’s an Ingmar Bergman movie! |