Why do students fall asleep in philosophy courses?

Logic

Because who wouldn’t be bored to death by discussing pure tautologies for months!

Philosophy of Action

Because in the same way that an intentional effort to fall asleep produces insomnia, an intention not to fall asleep produces… somnia.

Chinese Philosophy

Because it is better to be asleep in class dreaming to be a butterfly than to be a butterfly dreaming to be a philosophy student.

Metaphysics

Because dozing off is the best way to explore different possible worlds.

Doing Philosophy

Because the most enjoyable way of doing philosophy is to activate your private experience machine.

Theories of Justice

Because it is very difficult to keep your eyes open when you are behind the veil of ignorance.

Ethics

Because sleeping in class produces the greatest happiness for the greatest number.

Epistemology

Because if you are told you are a brain in a vat, there isn’t much else you can do, is it?

Aesthetics

Because beauty is in the shut-eye of the beholder.

Political Philosophy

Well, we suspect that this is all the work of a sleeper cell. (But don’t worry, we will catch them soon!)

Ancient Philosophy

Because it’s all Greek to us!

Continental Philosophy

Dormio quia absurdum.

Post-Modern Philosophy

Because the dialectical transgression of the post-Lacanian narrativity contextualizes the mythopoetical paradigm of subsemiotic discourse, de-conceptualized or rather quasi-articulated by Deleuzzzzz...

Probability and Scientific Method

Because although it leads to a lower expected grade, the overall expected value of sleeping in class is higher than that of staying awake.

Philosophical Perspectives on Human Rights

Because every student has a basic right not to be exposed to sleep deprivation.

Philosophy of Mind

The most probable reason is a defective Turing machine.

Philosophy of Science

Because it is impossible to follow the lecture: there are just too many ad hoc hypotheses.

Philosophy of Language

Because the audience could not grasp the speaker’s meaning.

Bioethics

Because a life without a nap is not worth living.

Cinema and Philosophy

Because it’s an Ingmar Bergman movie!